Am I Traumatised? 10 Signs You Might Be Carrying Trauma

If an experience overwhelmed your ability to cope and left you feeling powerless, unsafe or disconnected, it may have left a traumatic imprint, even if it did not appear “serious” from the outside.

That means trauma can come from moments that seem ordinary on the surface: a parent’s harsh criticism, being bullied at school, growing up with emotional neglect, feeling invisible in your family, or living under constant pressure without support. Over time, these experiences can shape how you see yourself, how safe you feel in the world, and how you connect with others.

Here are ten common signs that you might be carrying unresolved trauma.

1. You Feel Too Much or Nothing at All

You might cry easily, feel anxious without knowing why, or get overwhelmed by small things such as a delayed message or a change in plans.
Or you might feel strangely numb, as if you are watching life from behind glass. You may find it hard to feel joy, sadness, or excitement, even when something good happens.

Both patterns are your nervous system’s way of protecting you. When emotions once felt unbearable, the body learns to either shut down or go into overdrive to survive.

Example: After years of keeping the peace in a chaotic home, Emma notices that whenever someone raises their voice, her heart races and her chest tightens. She tells herself she is “overreacting”, but her body is simply remembering what danger used to feel like.

2. You Have Trouble Relaxing

Even when things are fine, your body stays on alert. You might struggle to fall asleep, clench your jaw, or feel constant tension in your shoulders.
This is the body’s survival system stuck in “on” mode. It stays ready for threat, even when you are safe.

Example: Liam finds it impossible to relax on holiday. He checks his phone constantly and plans every detail of the day. Doing nothing makes him uneasy because his body learned long ago that letting his guard down was not safe.

3. You Struggle with Trust or Feel Unsafe

When you have been hurt, dismissed, or betrayed, your mind can start to equate closeness with danger. You might keep others at a distance, second-guess people’s intentions, or brace yourself for rejection.
Safety may feel like something you have to earn instead of something you naturally deserve.

Example: Mei avoids sharing personal stories with friends because she fears being judged or pitied. Even small moments of vulnerability feel risky, though part of her longs for a deeper connection.

4. You Blame Yourself for What Happened

Self-blame is one of the most painful signs of trauma. When something shatters your sense of safety, the mind often turns inward and says, “It must have been my fault.”
Believing that you caused it can feel safer than facing how powerless you really were. It gives the illusion of control: if it was your fault, then maybe you can prevent it from happening again.

Example: After a toxic relationship, Sara still tells herself, “I should have known better.” She feels responsible for the abuse because accepting how trapped she was feels unbearable.

5. You Have Flashbacks or Body Memories

Trauma is not stored only in thoughts. It is also stored in the body.
You might suddenly feel fear, shame, or dread with no clear trigger. Your body might tighten, your stomach churn, or you may see quick images that seem to come out of nowhere.

These are body memories, where the nervous system replays sensations from the past even if your conscious mind does not remember.

Example: Whenever Jason smells alcohol on someone’s breath, his body stiffens and his pulse races. He does not recall the details of his father’s drinking, but his body never forgot.

6. You Avoid Certain People, Places, or Feelings

Avoidance is a common trauma response. You might steer clear of places that remind you of the past, certain conversations, or even feelings that seem too intense.
Some people keep busy all the time, take care of others, or use substances to numb emotions. The goal is not laziness or denial. It is safety.

Example: Maria throws herself into helping everyone around her but avoids her own emotions. Slowing down feels dangerous because it might mean feeling the pain she has buried for years.

7. Your Relationships Feel Difficult or Repetitive

You may notice patterns repeating in your relationships. You might be drawn to unavailable partners, try to rescue others, or pull away the moment someone gets close.
Trauma often recreates what is familiar, not what is healthy. Without realising it, we repeat old dynamics in an attempt to resolve them.

Example: Arun wants stability but keeps choosing partners who are emotionally distant. Deep down, the inconsistency feels strangely familiar, almost like home.

8. You Feel Chronically Guilty or Ashamed

Many people with trauma carry a deep sense that something is wrong with them.
This shame often develops after years of invalidation, neglect, or secrecy. You might apologise too often, minimise your achievements, or feel undeserving of rest or love. But this is not a flaw in your character. It is a wound from trauma.

Example: Even when praised at work, Leah feels like an imposter. Her inner critic whispers that she is fooling everyone, echoing the high pressure and perfectionism of her childhood.

9. You Have Unexplained Physical Symptoms

Headaches, digestive problems, chronic pain, or fatigue can be signs of a nervous system holding unprocessed stress. The mind and body are deeply connected. Trauma can live in muscle tension, breathing patterns, and posture as much as in memory.

Example: After years of swallowing anger, Nina’s migraines worsen whenever she feels frustrated. Her body expresses what her voice still cannot.

10. You Keep Asking, “What Is Wrong With Me?”

You have tried to move on, read self-help books, and told yourself to get over it, but you still feel stuck or disconnected.
This does not mean you are broken. It means your survival system is still protecting you. Trauma recovery is not about fixing yourself. It is about understanding and reconnecting with the parts that once had to survive alone.

Example: When Ben freezes in conflict, he feels weak. But that freeze response once kept him safe. Healing means teaching his body that it is safe now to respond differently.

So, Am I Traumatised?

If several of these signs feel familiar, you are not broken or weak. These are normal responses to overwhelming experiences. The good news is that trauma can heal. With the right support, your nervous system can learn to feel safe again, your emotions can become more balanced, and your relationships can feel more secure.

Healing does not mean forgetting the past. It means your body no longer lives there.

Finding the Right Support

At the Trauma Directory, you can find a trauma-skilled therapists who understands how trauma affects both mind and body. You deserve care that recognises not only what happened to you but how it lives inside you, and how it can be healed.